Red Bull "Supernatural"

CANNOT WAIT for this special... face shots and dubstep, what more do you need? Oh yeah, probably more skiers ;).

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Ridiculous.

Starry Night (interactive animation) from Petros Vrellis on Vimeo.

My cautious optimism served me well.

Let me make this quick, like ripping off a Band-Aid:

Shit didn't work out. At all.

I could feel things slipping away, and turns out I was right to be cautiously optimistic. Everyone around me was entirely optimistic, and that's what makes this particular defeat even worse. I, at least, try to protect myself from disappointment, but it gets tougher when the people you love are utterly convinced of your impending success, and then it doesn't happen. It leaves them wondering what went wrong, which only compounds my own feelings of failure and self-doubt. Safe to say I'm not the ray of ebullient sunshine you all know and love (yeah... right) but I'm trying not to let this setback affect me. It does, and rightfully so, but it shouldn't affect my everyday interactions.

I can't help but be entirely envious of the people who woke up today confident and happy with their jobs. Even more so if you were able to roll over and share that happiness with the person you love.

I woke up and hugged Juno. That'll do for now.

Cautiously optimistic.

First off - I need to comment that my "T" key is kind of broken, so if there are typos (or, "ypos," as it were), please forgive them.

Now, on to the post at hand:

This week is kind of a big deal.

I have a lot riding on this week, and I'm holding on to a cautious optimism. I feel like 2012 could be my year as long as it keeps riding like this. I live much of my life with a "come what may" attitude, but in reality, there's a specific way I'd like it to work out. I feel like I've been waiting a long time for things to fall into place for me and so far, this year, things finally are. And yes, I have worked for these things - I don't expect things to happen without hard work and dedication. But life has been especially weird to me these past few years, letting me live in a spectacular place and finding happiness in the mountains, but not allowing me the occupational or romantic success necessary for a full and happy life.

And, with the events coming this week, it's possible I can have both.

I've never expected to be the person who's had everything she's ever wanted, mostly because it's never happened. I know so many people who experience happiness in their jobs and have love in their lives with a significant other; these are things I've worked toward, but have never had simultaneously, or in the long term. I know that both take work and dedication; however, I've rarely, if ever, had the option of either. I feel like this could be my year for both.

That being said, I'm cautiously optimistic. I will take one, or the other, and forgo both if that's what needs to happen. But I need at least one. I've found a man and a possible job that could make me happy for the foreseeable future, and I'd like for one of them to work out. Right now, I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop, which is a shitty way to live (but keeps me protected against pain, which has been my M.O. most of my life). So I'm holding on to the notion that maybe I can finally have it all (which would be awesome, especially since this might be the last year that the earth exists - thanks, Mayans!).

We'll see. I'll keep you all posted. And maybe I'll have some exciting news to write about in the near future.

Today was a good day.

This may not matter to any of you, but the Flyers beat the Pens 4-2 tonight. That, my friends, is most excellent news.

Also - four days until the Winter Classic. There's still part of me that can't believe I will actually be there. I kind of don't want to tailgate beforehand. 1) It's going to be not warm and 2) I want to be soberish for the game because it's kind of an epic, possibly once-in-a-lifetime game to see for a Flyers fan. I prefer to remember it.

And if life weren't good enough, Warren Miller's "Off the Grid" is on one of my premium channels. It features Jamie Pierre's famous cliff jump and Chris Anthony skiing some ridiculous lines in Utah, among other segments of powdery goodness.

Mother Nature better get her shit together by the time I get back from Philly. Winter makes me so happy.

The universe hates me

I don't put a ton of stock in the accuracy of horoscopes, but they're fun and sometimes eerily accurate so I pay attention. Mine's posted on my Google homepage, and I read it about 3-5 times a week. I checked it today and it was this:


I mean... really?

For those of you who don't know, I have a job that doesn't allow me to socialize with my coworkers. At least I'm not supposed to; there are some people I've known since before we worked together and I do kick it with them. But otherwise, fraternizing is no bueno. And there's this horoscope, which is kind of hilarious given the fact that I've spent a million hours with my boss and our other team member this month and we're all creepily close right now. Like, know when the other is hungry or say the same thing at the same time. But otherwise, we have very little in common and are probably on the verge of getting really sick of each other. It's rare to spend 40 hours a week with people and feel the need to see them outside of work, too.

So, thanks, horoscope, for making it weird. Because more weird in my life is exactly what I need.

A tip for the zombie apocalypse

These promos for a marathon of "The Walking Dead" have helped me to revisit one of the main moral dilemmas of the characters in the show: dealing with their loved ones as "walkers."

Well, I'm here to quell that moral dilemma once and for all for you, my friends, family and stalkers:

If I am obviously a zombie whose only goal in her lobotomized, prey-driven life is to eat your brains without a second thought, just fucking shoot me in the head. Don't worry that I'm still me, and that somehow you're becoming my murderer. You've seen enough post-apocalyptic movies to know that there is no fucking way that I am sentient, and you also know that, in that split second of empathy, you become like 92% more vulnerable to dying into an entrail-fueled afterlife of mindless predation and bad skin. Put me out of my misery and save yourself. Done. Don't say I never did anything for you.

Honestly, you'd think after a season and a half, these bastards on TWD would finally understand this concept. Pusses.